Friday, June 27, 2008

Maui Me

For the past few months my sister has been living in Maui with a family as an au pair. Basically, she cleans around the house, takes care of the kids, and helps out wherever needed. In return, she gets room, board, a stipend and the chance to live in Maui with a few days off a week to explore and venture out into the beautiful island. The family she is staying with owns a few condos and the husband is a professional kiteboarder. They have generously offered our family a week's stay in one of their condos in September. In the course of our planning, we found out that our cousins will be vacationing in Maui as well so we coordinated our trips. Beginning the third week of September, I will be flying out with my Mom and Dad to spend a week in Maui!

Now, this is absolutely amazing because my lifelong non-spiritual goal is to learn to surf. I've even mentioned it in my Interests, though I've failed to actually accomplished such a feat. For some reason I've always been attracted to surfing and its culture. It could be in part that I have a "Type A" personality, which is a way of saying I'm impatient, aggressive, and competitive, or in other words, prideful. Supposedly, Type A's can't relax. They're always on the go, looking for a new task to accomplish, or in my case, something to fix. So all that I am naturally is the very opposite of the surf mood. It's laidback, carefree, and easy-going, and I think I'm strangely attracted to these qualitites. But really, the thought of spending the day on a beautiful beach with crystal clear water and waves slowly rolling in one after another seems like a dream. Add a long board for me to learn on and I'm set. Anyways, it's taken me an hour to write this post as I'm researching everything related to surfing/Maui/shorelines/surf cams/magazines/etc so I'm just going to say that I am super pumped to go. Only 78 more days...

Posted by Lane at 17:39:52 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Monday, June 16, 2008

With A Capital T

'About this time,' Edwards writes, 'began the great noise, in this part of the country, about Arminianism, which seemed to appear with a very threatening aspect upon the interest of religion here.'
-Iain H. Murray, Jonathan Edwards: A New Biography, pg. 109

It is quite interesting to note that one of the battles Jonathan Edwards' fought most fiercely was on the doctrinal grounds of the nature of man. His discourse, On the Freedom of the Will is his main defense for the biblical doctrine of Total Depravity. While I haven't taken up to reading this great work, God has been opening my eyes as I have approached this question: What does Total Depravity mean for desire, especially when we desire good things?

My evangelical spiritual upbringing over the past few years has answered this question. In essence, evangelical teaching goes something like this: You're lonely. You desire a friend. Jesus wants to be your best friend. Receive Him as your best friend and you won't be lonely anymore. (I know it's simple, but most of evangelicalism can be summarized by the teaching found on a youth group retreat.) Now, of course, everyone desires friendship; it's not a bad thing. Evangelicalism teaches that Jesus should fill that friend-shaped hole in your heart, just like He should the God-shaped one too. This kind of makes sense, right? I mean, Augustine did say our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Him. But the problem is we go about getting what we want, friendship, in the wrong way. Sure, looking for love in all the wrong places. I would agree that we go about getting what we want wrongly, but I would also say that what we want is wrong. Hear me out on this. They wouldn't have called it Total Depravity if our desires were good and we just dropped the ball on how to fulfill them.

John Calvin, the man himself, put it this way: We teach that all human desires are evil, and charge them with sin - not in that they are natural, but because they are inordinate. David Powlison comments on this statement that "the evil in our desires often lies not in what we want but in the fact that we want it too much" (David Powlison, Seeing With New Eyes, pg. 149).  Applying this to our lonesome friend we find that his loneliness is lust. His desire for comradery rules him, causing jealousy, control, and hatred towards those who might befriend him. Now, can Jesus fulfill his bottomless lust? And is this the Gospel? No and no. The Gospel is your loneliness is lust, and turn from your sin by being forgiven and freed of it through Jesus Christ, your Savior and Lord. Now some might argue you that I've simplified evangelicalism's gospel too much, but isn't this what you hear? You're depressed, come to Jesus. He'll make you happy. You've had a bad day, come to Jesus. He'll give you comfort. You're poor, come to Jesus. He'll make you rich. You're single, come to Jesus. He'll be your boyfriend. In other words, Jesus will fulfill your natural desires. What you don't hear is you're dead, come to Jesus. He'll make you alive. Or you're an enemy of God, but he'll make you a son. So those who might have being saying to yourselves earlier, "But isn't God our portion forever?" can now see how He is and how He is not.

Here I would like to explain how this was my view for so long. I saw that we all have desires for things here on earth that should be sought in God. For instance, we are greedy for money because God has control of all resources. We fight for control of our lives because God is sovereign over all things. We want to be famous or heroic because God deserves all glory and honor. Essentially, we covet what is God's. So my desire for certain things was good, but that I should seek it in God, not in earthly things. But really this was just taking a natural, sinful desire and trying to redirect and fulfill it in God. This is a deadly approach. Trust me that this is what we try to do. Just take a glance at your prayers and hear James 4:3.
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
Scripture in every place testifies that we are to die to sin, kill sin, and flee from it, not redirect our natural lusts. The second chapter of Calvin's Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life's describes self-denial as "the very excellent key principle" to direct men. Actions verbs like neglect, flee, surrender, discard, forget, die, leave, exclude, banish, and subject are used in the first few pages towards "the self". It is clear that our desires, be they for good things or evil, cannot be simply fulfilled in God. Our lusts must be mortified.

Let God give you a new heart that longs for obedience and the coming of His kingdom. What is the litmus test for this? Loving God makes you an enemy of the world (James 4:4). Do you hate the world? There is no check box for passivity. So what does this look like? Death. Death from lust, or wanting too much. This is Calvin's theology. And Edwards'. And Jesus' teaching. So unless your desires are in accord with God's will and you do them, kill them. This is the doctrine of Total Depravity.

Posted by Lane at 21:57:14 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Monday, May 26, 2008

Lane & Ben's Boating Adventure

Indiana has had a showery Spring thus far. Because Lake Monroe is Indiana's largest body of water, most of the rains run into this reservoir. However, even its great size hasn't been able to contain all the drainage, but instead has flooded. So when Ben and I couldn't reach the boat dock because of deeply submerged roads, we decided to see if we couldn't take the forest route. Below is a map that outlines our adventure. The X is where we docked the boat, the thick lines are where the road was flooded, the thin outlines the edge of the flooded forest, the green is my route to the lake, and Ben's way back is in orange. Click on the image to enlarge. As you will see, Ben was obviously the more adventurous one, and it was his first time ever driving a boat.

alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/Xwhp6sGHhrE&hl=en

Note: Please replace words like "prairie land" and "plain" with "forest". As you can tell by my absent vocabulary, I was truly overwhelmed.

alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/K4VPjxqZmHY&hl=en

Posted by Lane at 23:22:18 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Expression Failure & Fishing Success

I want to take you there. I want to use words that capture the ambience so that you feel like you were right there with me, next to my side. I want you to feel the cool raindrops and smell the wet forest. I want your heart to race like mine did, even to be out of breath. I want it to be just as real to you as it was to me.

Sometimes, I really wish I could just express myself. To some it comes quite easily. The moment their mouth opens you find yourself connecting with them. They communicate well, understand hopes and fears, and have a good grasp of their inner-life. All of these qualities are so far from me. Only in recent years were they even a part of my understanding of man's experience. So two nights ago when I was incredibly thrilled running through the forest on a muddy trail just before dark, I wanted to come back and write about it so you would really know what I'm talking about. I didn't want to describe and analyze it like I'm good at, but I wanted to bring you along with me in it.

Why? Because detailing and examining my experience would ruin it. And that's what I do quite naturally, scrutinize instead of relish. But I don't think that's what beauty is for. It's to take pleasure in.

So what is written above is the result of my inability to express myself. But Monday night was awesome. It was a full moon, which meant great fishing. It was overcast, another plus. And to top it off, it was raining, which meant fishing would be very good. But even very good in Indiana is like catching 3 game fish (bass, pike). In about two and a half hours, I caught 8 largemouth bass, plump females full of eggs, and some weird half crappie, half bluegill. I've never had a better day of fishing in Indiana. I went to my secret spot on Griffey Lake and even caught a fish on my first cast. Amazing! All the bass were caught along an 80-yard stretch, and every good spot produced a fish. The TV professionals aren't even that good. Then, after all my fishing success, I had the sweet experience of running in the rain at late dusk through the trails of Griffey. It was exhilarating!

What I'm learning is that the whole experience was so cool that just telling you the facts about it seemed like I was stifling it. I wanted you to feel like you were there with me. I know some people can write like that and it was my intent to try. But I would have been here all night, and still ended up writing my frustrations instead. I guess that's discipline when you want to be good at everything. All that to say I had a great time fishing Monday night, caught a ton of fish, and wanted to share that with you. I hope this wasn't too painful.


PS Really, I didn't want to post this. It's somewhat whiny, a bit confusing, and too pensive. But that's me, I guess. While I'd like to clean it up so it's nice and tidy, I figure a little bit of dirt couldn't hurt.

Posted by Lane at 23:07:49 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Sunday, May 04, 2008

My Ultimate Why? - Part 2

This has been an interesting Sunday. Everything seemed normal this morning as I got up for Sunday school and greeted before the second service. But before my duty was done, God brought a family my way that changed about everything. To put it discreetly, a couple whose lives were broken walked through the door seeking financial assistance. A few days prior they had walked in the rain to the church and spoken with our secretary. She said it would be best for them to come to the Sunday service and meet with the deacons afterwards. And this morning God brought them into my life as well.

For sake of privacy, I won't disclose their story, but they had been through some of the most horrible things of anyone I'd ever met. And as they opened up to me their sins and sorrows, my utter hatred and neglect of the poor and helpless became sharply clear. The man, who reminded me of myself, maybe more than anyone else I've ever met, and his wife met with an elder and a deacon for aid. Afterwards, they joined our Home Fellowship Group for lunch and they continued to be open with me and now others in the church. Hearing the tremendously tough times they've faced exposed the lie of my quaint life. It was clear that others in my small group experienced the same uncovering. Thankfully, my church and I were able to help out this couple and will continue to. Certainly, God was blessing both parties through our interaction.

Later this afternoon I joined a two friends at the park, one of which had recently graduated and was now leaving Bloomington. When I arrived, they were sitting and watching some mutual friends play volleyball. I was fresh from dropping off the couple at their home and my heart was still burdened. I shared their story with my two friends to engage them in the work God was doing in my heart in hopes that He might also work in theirs. It was a good time of fellowship and burden for the couple, and then we moved on and began to talk of our future plans. In a short while, the departing friend said goodbye and left. My remaining friend and I were asked to join the sunny Sunday afternoon volleyball game and we did. As we played, everyone was encouraging, and knew one another fairly well. Children were playing freely in the rest of the park and some tunes were provided through a player's vehicle. Sounds swell, doesn't it? School just let out, weather was fantastic, friends were fellowshipping, and it was a relaxing late afternoon. The closest thing to disturbance or danger was the pea gravel court we were playing on.

Now this is exactly the tension I'm talking about in my previous post (Part 1). I spent the morning with a desperately broken couple reaching out for help and the afternoon in perfect harmony with friends. Nothing at all was wrong with playing volleyball and having good, clean fun, except that's really what young evangelicals are all about. How do I know this so well? Take a look at the morning story I just told. That meeting was shattering. My life is pristine. There's no danger or dirt in it. It's filled with fun activities and "fellowship" and "having a good time with friends". I spent last night watching YouTube videos with two dear friends who left Bloomington today for good. What was the fruit of that? Does Christ gain glory from this, that our perfect little evangelical lives are 'exciting' and 'clean' and 'prosperous'? It's a joke. My life is a tragedy if I spend it this way. So I won't condemn sunny afternoon volleyball, but I will if pea gravel is the closest peril you face.

But I haven't resolved my tension. I know I have a guilty conscience about not loving the poor and the blind, the widow and the orphan. But I still haven't resolved the fact that I'd like to get soon-to-come Jack's Mannequin album, but I'm already on a tight budget and now want to care for this couple. And I'm all or nothing. If the kingdom of God IS all that matters, then I can't spend another dime entertaining myself. Does anyone else ask these questions? I know some of you have, but you were young in faith and recognized the glory of the kingdom come. Have we lost this?

And maybe it is my guilty conscience, but where does it stop? Is there any line in our life that the King cannot cross? Should we buy generic soap instead of Dove so that we might give more? I don't want to obsess over the little things like I have in the past, but if I give up all my kingdom, what area of my life will not be claimed for Christ's? If I start, where will He stop? Do I really have to sell my stuff? I really like the cheap, scrappy 12 foot boat I got this past winter. I mean, fishing is really relaxing and it's something my dad and I share. And I can use it to minister to young men. But I don't need it. Isn't it precisely what Jesus is talking about when he tells the rich, young ruler to sell all his possessions? Okay, I'm starting to feel like the emerging church, because I'm just asking questions. But, honestly, what does it mean to seek His kingdom first?! Do you feel the tension?
Posted by Lane at 20:43:04 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

For The Love Of Fish (And Babies)

During Spring Break a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to head down to Florida and spend some time with family. Much of that time consisted of fishing, in particular, for some nice largemouth bass. So when I heard about this story, I was saddened for a few reasons. Here's a little blip for you:
"In 2004, for example, researchers on the Potomac River, downstream from Washington, D.C., found large-mouth bass that in most respects were males, but who had eggs in their sexual organs. Quite often when this happens to fish, they find themselves unable to reproduce. When it happens primarily to male fish, the fish population in general suffers."
But I bet you can't guess what horomone pollutant causes this condition termed "intersex." Your hint is that liberal environmentalists have to "pick their poison."

Read on.

Posted by Lane at 21:35:28 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

Saturday, April 05, 2008

My Ultimate Why? - Part 1

As of recent, I've been interested in what we call personality. I can be quite blind to things that are obvious because I'm looking for something deeper, so these generalizations of dispositions are helpful. I took the DISC test upon entering the CNPC and was classified as the Creative Pattern. Part of my profile describes how my "desire for tangible results is counterbalanced by an equally strong drive for perfection". If I were to show this struggle through a biblically framed question I would ask, "What do marriage and beaches and four-wheelers and the internet and MacBooks and blogs and LOST and shoes and Jack Johnson and Jack's frozen pizzas and beds and anything else in our modern world have to do with obeying Jesus Christ? In other words, do my life and the things in my life (tangible results) reflect Jesus Christ (perfection)? This is my ultimate WHY??? question.

Here's a little history. When I was converted my senior year of high school, I believed the Bible was the only truth as it stated God's very Word. And this is totally true. What also happened at that time is that I then questioned absolutely everything I believed before, to the best of my ability, and now hung all my beliefs on the bedrock of Scripture. The things that became important and vital and of worth to me were the things I read about. A few months after becoming a Christian, I began to read through the Bible going from Matthew to Revelation, then Genesis to Malachi on a year track. So I read firstly about Jesus Christ, then the ministry of the gospel through the apostles after He had risen from the dead. What I took away from that was, "The kingdom of God is the most important thing on earth." When I read through the Old Testament, it was more like a history book because I didn't exactly see how it all pointed to Christ. So I stuck with the New Testament and Jesus command to "Seek first the kingdom of God". However, one thing I didn't question was the importance of being a hard worker, which my parents had taught me. So if the most important thing to do was seek God's kingdom, I needed to work hard at it. Now, I must clarify my opinion of God's kingdom. The kingdom of God was helping people to worship Jesus Christ with all their life and this inevitably meant giving up "their kingdom". Looking around I saw twenty-somethings going to movies, playing video games, IMing their friends, jamming to music, finding someone to date, and really just wanting to have some fun. While there were others drinking, sleeping around, and getting high, these were the real, but obvious transgressions. I became concerned with the whole direction of our lives, not so much the individual sins. You can't care for every orphan and widow, but out of the overflow of your life do you care for them in general? It seemed to me that my evangelical friends and I maybe weren't committing gross, explicit sins, but sins of omission by doing our thing. And thus, how should I interpret the uses of movies and music and time?

I realized this is going to be a multi-post series before I can really get to where I'd like. If you find this helpful in any way or are curious as to where I'm going, please encourage me in this endeavor.

Posted by Lane at 16:46:46 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Concert Songs!

There are a number of things that I wanted to pass along, so this is my attempt to catch up.

First, The Good Shepherd Band, just posted some new songs from the recent concert with Matthew Smith & Indelible Grace. I can't recommend just one song, or even two. They are all amazing, each in their own way. If you're a pop junkie, you'll want to start with their rendition of "The God of Abraham Praise". If you more of the alt. rock persuasion, try the original "The Voice of the Lord". More of a hard rocker? You have to hear "Son of God Goes Forth to War". For the hymn fan, see the amazing concert version of "Deep is the Mystery." And if you're a dude, you have to hear, "Hiding Place". Believe me, you're never heard praise music like this. Yeah, just listen to them all over and over and over @ www.myspace.com/thegoodshepherdband. If you're into worship music or have any questions, their "About" section below the music player is really clear and helpful. Enjoy!

Because I said I would and I would rather say more about the GSB, I'll give just a quick review of Jack Johnson's "Sleep Through The Static". First, it's a different kind of Jack CD. He went through some tough times and it's not as happy as previous albums. Second, I'm starting to believe you have to be in love to really love Jack. Oh well. Third, I'll give it 3.5 stars. Yeah, I was that disappointed.

Speaking of disappointments, Season 4 of LOST started off really slow. I'd have to say it's picked up, but I want more Island. I will say I am extremely happy for my boy Jack and my girl Juliet. Too bad it's almost assured they don't end up together. As usual, the Desmond-centric episodes are the best ever, especially when he and Penny are on good terms.

Yes... I'm just rambling because I can't think of what I really wanted to write about...

Posted by Lane at 20:08:46 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Peter Caleb

Among the many exciting things happening in my life, which I'll get around to sooner or later, I wanted to gladly announce the birth of Peter Caleb Mentzel! A long-time friend and fellow Pastors College student, Jacob Mentzel is now a proud father. His wife Amanda had been joyfully carrying their child for nine months, two weeks as of Wednesday, March 19th when she was induced into labor. At 9:10 PM, 18 minutes after I called Jake to find out what in the world was going on, she finally gave birth to their beautiful, healthy son.

However, they had done a very good job at concealing his sex from everyone. There was even a Facebook conspiracy group trying to theorize if it was a boy or girl. My strong vote for girl was obviously wrong, and had I thought about it more I would have come to the right conclusion. I figured if it was a boy that Jake in his joy would have spilled the beans when I should have realized he'd be all the more careful so as not to slip. Jake's a guy; he wants a son. What father wouldn't?

But if you'd like to hear more and see tons of newborn baby pictures, check out the Mentzel Family blog. We're glad to have you, Peter.

Posted by Lane at 20:20:24 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday, March 21, 2008

FL '08

Last week I had the special privledge of hitching a ride down to Florida with a few guys, James, Ben, and the infamous Bob. I went to visit family and had a great time. I can't share about the whole trip so here are some one-liners to define it.

Traveling with Bob is really a blast. It's enjoyable to go with him wherever, the food is usually pretty good, and I would have never listened to the 12 CD audiobook of The Godfather otherwise.

I've always wondered what my Grandpa does with his time. Visiting daily, I now know that the U.S. Postal Service will never go out of business.

The wildlife in Florida is amazing, and it's so cool to see beautitful butterflys, tons of turtles, and enormous alligators. Yeah, the biggest gator was about 10 feet long.

The Goodwill's in Florida have tons of awesome "Grandpa" shirts in bright, tropical colors.

The East Coast is the best place to catch a sunrise and the wavey shores of Crescent Beach provided a nice backdrop.

The BP is more than two miles from the river house. And that's a long walk.

Among many others, I caught the biggest fish of my life - an 8 1/2 lb. catfish that could swallow my fist.

Also, I learned how to clean a catfish. Knock it over the head with a hammer, nail its head to a board, cut it open, pull off the skin with a pair of vice grips, clean out the guts, chop off its head with a hatchet, and wala! A wonderful catfish dinner.

There's really not much other than shirts and peanuts to give Grandpa on his 83rd birthday. Aside from love, of course.

I'm sure there's a bunch of fun stories I'm missing, but this is a pretty good summary. I hope you enjoyed your Spring Break if you got one and Happy Easter (I'm so far behind...). He is not the God of the dead, but of the living!

Posted by Lane at 09:58:54 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |