A New Direction

A must read for every blogger.

Written by Fools to be Read by Imbeciles

Lane

As I have reflected a bit more on my decision to commit this blog to pursuing the work of what it means to be in the world, but not of it I have come to a different conclusion.  I have decided that I would like to use this blog to just keep people updated on my life.  I'm realizing more and more that this is a very difficult task for most college grads and I hope that it will provide other friends and family an opportunity to just hear about what I'm doing from time to time.  This will be the new direction for this blog.

Now, for all two of you who were excited about the new blog direction, don't fret.  I have decided to continue this pursuit with another blog.  I realized it would be too difficult for my blog to be both personal and address this work.  Having my picture in the top corner wasn't my idea of having many others contribute.  As of this point, I have about a thousand ideas, but not time enough to pursue them.  Yet.  I fully intend to do so, and I anticipate this blog to be in full swing by the beginning of the new year.

Why two blogs?  Aren't there a bazillion already on the bloggersphere?  While this is the case, and I am often overwhelmed by the amount of information on the internet, my hope is that this new blog with have a variety of authors in an untapped niche that is clearly biblical.  It will seek to draw out the deception of our culture in post-modern, relativistic, materialistic America and the always timely truth of God's Word.  Really, I can't wait to begin.  I hope you are even half as excited as I am.  Keep checking this blog for further details.

Lane

It has been brought to my attention that in this season of my life I have been very consumed with the things of the world.  The vast majority of spare time has recently been spent finding new music and tormenting myself over whether or not I should invest my hard earned money from UPS.  (For those of you who don't know, I've been a seasonal driver helper for UPS and this is my fourth and final week of employment.)  Along with music, fashionable clothing of comfort has been a distraction, and I'm a male.  Confession and humility are good.  But the bigger picture is that I'm trying to make life here on earth really, really comfortable.  Be it my ears or my skin, they want comfort, and they want it now.  During my youth ministry internship, I learned that we all build our own kingdoms.  Since that time, I've become more and more convinced that we build one that makes our body feel most comfortable, our kingdom of comfort as I call it.  I even see much evidence for this in Paul's writings and how he speaks about his body, and literally his flesh (Romans 7:24-25, 1 Cor. 9:27, 2 Cor. 4:16).  And as much as God wants to save us from our kingdom, He also wants us to save us to His.

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from passions of the flesh, which wage war on your soul (1 Peter 2:11).  Set your minds on things above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2).  But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we away a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:20).

Now, there have been times when these verses have really gripped me and I go on a rampage to cut out every earthly thing in my life.  This is my bent to go in the completely opposite direction as the world and end up an ascetic, which is not biblical at all.  A dear friend has kindly called this spiritual masochism.  Well, he actually said, "Lane is a spiritual masochist," but you get the idea.  It's cutting all of the good things out of life that God has provided (1 Timothy 6:17).  Either way, there is a clear struggle that we have with our flesh wanting comfort now and our hearts gladly receiving everything to enjoy (read 1 Timothy 6:18 as well).  It is our fight to live now in this world, but for another.

I've realized that over the past 5 years I've been a Christian, this has been my passion, to figure out what it means to live in this world, but not at all be of it.  I know my bent, and I also think God's given me an eye to see through deception.  After writing this entry and three others in my head while trying to fall asleep last night, I decided to dedicate this blog specifically to that work.  I want to help make you aware of the world we live in through the light of God's Word, but I'll need your help.  Please join me in this task to build up the Body that we may labor in His kingdom now and forever more.  To Him be the glory forever and ever.  Amen.

I had the opportunity to catch up with a friend (others would call him a student) earlier today and hear about his life in Sewickley since I've been gone.  During our chat he also shared that he was going to call me later in the day; what a coincidence.  He wanted to catch up as well, and even just wanted to learn more about God.  Now, I realize that all-too-often I talk about God in a way that is so far from everyday life that He seems more distant than He really is.  As I was digging for something to say that might make sense to him, I began to think about what God is doing in my life.  As a result, I shared how God has blessed me with a few pastors at a church that I hope to learn from, grow through, and be challenged by.  I told my friend how these men followed God by ministering to me in times of need and taking me in as if I were their own son.  And it wasn't only the pastors who served me, but also their children by giving up their hot chocolate or their turn in playing a game.  I brought it back together by saying that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve.

But at the end of my explanation, I knew something was missing.  I couldn't just say that Jesus served others, because I've realized that serving is specific to need.  You don't serve a drug addict by giving him money for drugs.  But sometimes that's what we do in our "serving" or "loving others," provide people with an opportunity to indulge their flesh.  On a side note, his phone conversation took place as I was driving to the mall and wrestling with the idea of buying and giving gifts to people who already have seemingly every material possession.

So as I am searching for how to clarify how you serve a person and how Jesus served us, my mind went blank.  I think I uttered a few more words, but none of wisdom that could bring clarification.  Our conversation ended shortly after that and I just hoped that the examples I gave earlier would suffice. 

Interestingly enough, there was another coincidence later on today.  As I read through my scheduled devotion, I came across the very words of Jesus in Matthew 20:28 that I had quoted earlier:

   "even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve,
      and to give his life as a ransom for many."

What a Homer Simpson moment - Dough!  The rest of the verse clarified the way in which Jesus served us.  He met our need by giving up His life so we could be reconciled to God.  The Word has made clear exactly how Jesus served us through the example He set.  "But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave."

May we all give this Christmas as Jesus who came to serve.

Lane

Yes, it is true my friends.  I've actually continued with this blog for a whole year now.  Of course, there were a few silent periods but I've made it thus far.  However, this anniversary beckons reflection on my life in the form of the question, "What's changed since I began?"

A little over a year ago I left Pool Pro, then with no thought of returning, to pursue a post-graduate academic, leadership, work-place fellowship.  Yeah, try explaining that to everyone who asks what you're doing next.  I was to join six other recent grads and we would become the inaugural class of the Pittsburgh Fellows.  My internship was in the Student Ministry department at St. Stephen's Church, Sewickley and I would devote my life to the students in the community.  I had the opportunity to live with two other guys in the program, Neil & Aaron, and worked in the church with the fourth guy, Andrew.  We definitely had some good times together, especially on our trips up to Moe's in Cranberry for lunch.  I definitely got close to the kids, especially the students and leaders who attended fX.  If any of you still check this, I really miss you guys and think about you everyday.  Overall, it was a great post-graduate experience, and it was a good place of maturing and transition for me. 

Afterwards I returned to good, old Chesterton, Indiana this past July to begin my fourth season at Pool Pro.  Not much had changed, except for a few new guys that had started earlier in the year.  What can I say?  We built pools and had fun doing it. 

Of course, there's been more than a change of scenery over the past year.  I'd like to think that God's changed me a lot... but I guess it doesn't seem like it in the grand scheme of things because there's so much more to go.  On one hand that's really scary, but on the other it's refreshing to know that God has yet more to do.  Right now I'm seeing Him root out things I never knew were there... or that could be there.  Deep within the framework of my thinking is the belief that God is always angry with me because of my utter depravity and I'm learning that's not true.  I'm seeing in God's Word the favor He shows His chosen ones, something that does not rest on my doing whatsoever.  I'm seeing Him root out pride and self-centeredness that seemed so spiritual to me, but were only a twisted and anxious obsession with obedience.  And as for maturing into adulthood, I still don't think I know who I am.  I think I've idolized a lot of personality characteristics, tried to take them on myself, and only become more confused in the search of what's really me. 

On a more positive note, I'm trusting God with a decision about my future.  I plan to move back to Bloomington, Indiana at the beginning of the New Year, get a job, and attend the Reformed Evangelical Pastor's College through the Church of the Good Shepherd in the Fall of 2007.  If all goes as planned, the REPC will keep me in town for three years while I learn and serve at the CGS under Tim Bayly and the pastoral leadership there.  My good friend Jake also plans to attend the REPC next fall.  I'm actually getting excited because I've made a decision to trust God with my future and not my own wisdom.  I hope I'll be able to share all the good He'll do to me, for He is good.

I can't go without saying that there's a really big part of my life that I haven't been able to share on this blog.  It has been the case that fear and doubt and uncertainy have driven me away from doing so.  I thank God that He is bringing me out of that wilderness and into the Promised Land.  I really hope to share more soon.  His timing will be good. 

As all of this comes to me I see a faithful God lovingly bringing along an often unwilling son and it brings tears to my eyes.  God has been so gracious to me over this past year.  This time of reflection has been a comfort to my soul.

And so I say, "Happy Anniversary, Blog" and "Many Posts to Come."

Hoping you will too,
Lane