A New Direction

This psalm has always touched my heart deeply as it speaks to God's sovereign reign and rule over the entire universe.  The LORD has used it in many ways to remind me that "the plans of His heart" will stand forever, especially when I don't understand what's going on in this foreign land.  But a few days ago the LORD brought even more of the psalm to light as I began to see a promise that blows my concept of God out of the water.  Verse 18 says:

   "Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him,
      on those who hope in his steadfast love,"

Like it was the first time I had read it, this caught my eye and was speaking into my current need to see God's love toward me.  But as I began to memorize this verse I thought, "What does the rest of it say?" 

   "that he may deliver their soul from death
      and keep them alive in famine."

WOW!  God constantly has His eye on those who fear and hope in Him so that He can deliver from peril!  How amazing is that?  God is literally watching out for me when I fear and hope in Him! Though I've heard it before, God really is for me.  This is something that I've struggled with for so long, but the LORD is bringing me out of the wilderness to hope in his steadfast love.  His truth is radically changing my inner/emotional life and truly setting me free.  As the psalmist ends:

   "Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
      even as we hope in you."

Looked after,
Lane

First, I want to thank all of you who have enduringly been praying for my decision about next year.  It's been so encouraging to hear from you that you are praying and I have definitely know the LORD's presence through your prayers.  I personally have enjoyed this time to trust God even when things aren't so clear.  Usually I get pretty frustrated, but through God's power that hasn't been the case... 

And though this time has been one of refinement, it seems that I will still continue in it.  I realized that I don't have to make a final decision about attending Trinity, but still needed to turn in a refundable deposit for now.  This I have done... as long as it gets to Chicago by tomorrow.  So, I still have some things to think through and consider.  As soon as they become more clear, I'll be sure to let you know. 

Thanks again for all your labor in Christ.

Gratefully,
Lane

I'd love to share all that God is doing in my life and heart, but I am going to ask something of you (whoever you are).  Could you please be praying for me in two specific areas?  The first being the "talk" I'll be giving tomorrow morning at Student Worship, the Sunday morning student service at St. Stephen's.  It's about proclaiming the good news of Christ.  Pray that I would communicate this call well to the students and that the Spirit would bring conviction.  My other request is in the area of direction for next year.  I am praying about attending Trinity in Chicago for seminary or going back to Bloomington and doing what only the LORD knows.  I have to make my final decision about Trinity by Wednesday at the latest and so I'd really appreciate your prayers over the next few days.  I'll keep you updated as I come to a point of decision.  Thank you so much for your prayers.

Prayerfully,
Lane

Hello from sunny Ocala, Florida!  Yes, I decided to drive down and the trip was great.  Somehow the LORD kept me awake for 14 hours straight to drive down, even though I only got 5 the previous night.  But I'm here and things are relaxed.  I sat out in the sun by the pool and read, and then got to meet my cousin's girlfriend for the first time.  My aunt and uncle won't be arriving in their brand new 30 foot trawler until tomorrow.  They picked it up the day beforey the embarked on their week long journey from Denver... crazy folks.  Anyways, I'm glad to be here and praying that this time would continually draw me closer to God, especially as I'm seeking to make a decision about what to do next in life.

Relaxing,
Lane

It's supposed to be in the mid to upper 80's this coming week in Ocala, FL where my family lives.  There is nothing going on in the Student Ministries because both directors are going on a missions trip to Haiti and I've been given permission to take some time off.  I've been considering a solo roadtrip down to Florida for some time now and this might be it.  My aunt and uncle will be down there over the Easter weekend and it'd be great to celebrate the risen Lord with my family.  There are few people here that really know me and I'm starving for intimacy, to connect with those who care about me.  I'm trying to make some of the biggest decisions of my life and I haven't really found the depth of community I long for in Sewickley.  My fellow Hoosiers remember what we had, and their counsel and wisdom (even though we were just college kids) was (and is) so precious to me.  Nevertheless, this is my lot.  I'm just trying to make it a little sweeter.

Should I stay or should I go now,
Lane

Surprised?  Don't be.

"I'm called as a prophet," the young man told me.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I'm always seeing what is wrong with people, churches, and ministry."

"I'll bet your gifting has brought you a lot of joy."

"No, just the opposite.  The people I've ministered to don't really understand the office of the prophet.  They get offended at the Word of the Lord.  What do you think is wrong?"

The young man may have had a prophetic calling, but he had missed the main point of prophetic ministry.  He was paying for his misunderstandings with a joyless, strife-filled life.  Always seeing what is wrong with people is not a gift; it's an obsession.  It is frequently the sign of a rigid, angry, controlling personality disorder that causes pain for everyone involved.

-Jack Deere, The Beginner's Guide to The Gift of Prophecy, page 37

Aside from the first sentence, I have for so long found myself in this young man's shoes.

Taking them off,
Lane

After a week of staying with Wes, an 8th grader who lives Sewickley, while his parents were in St. Martin, I came home to relax, but found trouble.  On Sunday morning my computer refused to start Windows and all my attempts to remedy the problem were in vain.  So me, being the go-getter that I am, took the initiative to begin looking for a new computer, since mine is well over 4 years old and probably needs to be replaced soon.  I practically memorized the latest Dell catalog, searched for online specials, checked out refurbished computers, researched processers, and ended up with an incredible deal with a free 19 inch flat-screen upgrade.  Sounds pretty mature and responsible right?  Wrong.  I didn't really consult the Lord and take a look from His perspective.  I'd love to have a brand spanking new, customized computer just for me, but did I really need it, even if I had the money and got all that I wanted for under $700, about a grand less than my first computer?  Nope.  I'm sure God could provide a computer that met my needs through someone else who didn't need theirs. 

I'm trusting in faith that God will give out of the riches He has given others.

Already typing on someone's generosity,
Lane

PS Yesterday, I got accepted to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.  Now I've got a month to decide if I'm going to attend.

PSS Now you're putting together why I didn't just go out and buy a new computer...