My Ultimate Why? - Part 2
This has been an interesting Sunday. Everything seemed normal this morning as I got up for Sunday school and greeted before the second service. But before my duty was done, God brought a family my way that changed about everything. To put it discreetly, a couple whose lives were broken walked through the door seeking financial assistance. A few days prior they had walked in the rain to the church and spoken with our secretary. She said it would be best for them to come to the Sunday service and meet with the deacons afterwards. And this morning God brought them into my life as well.
For sake of privacy, I won't disclose their story, but they had been through some of the most horrible things of anyone I'd ever met. And as they opened up to me their sins and sorrows, my utter hatred and neglect of the poor and helpless became sharply clear. The man, who reminded me of myself, maybe more than anyone else I've ever met, and his wife met with an elder and a deacon for aid. Afterwards, they joined our Home Fellowship Group for lunch and they continued to be open with me and now others in the church. Hearing the tremendously tough times they've faced exposed the lie of my quaint life. It was clear that others in my small group experienced the same uncovering. Thankfully, my church and I were able to help out this couple and will continue to. Certainly, God was blessing both parties through our interaction.
Later this afternoon I joined a two friends at the park, one of which had recently graduated and was now leaving Bloomington. When I arrived, they were sitting and watching some mutual friends play volleyball. I was fresh from dropping off the couple at their home and my heart was still burdened. I shared their story with my two friends to engage them in the work God was doing in my heart in hopes that He might also work in theirs. It was a good time of fellowship and burden for the couple, and then we moved on and began to talk of our future plans. In a short while, the departing friend said goodbye and left. My remaining friend and I were asked to join the sunny Sunday afternoon volleyball game and we did. As we played, everyone was encouraging, and knew one another fairly well. Children were playing freely in the rest of the park and some tunes were provided through a player's vehicle. Sounds swell, doesn't it? School just let out, weather was fantastic, friends were fellowshipping, and it was a relaxing late afternoon. The closest thing to disturbance or danger was the pea gravel court we were playing on.
Now this is exactly the tension I'm talking about in my previous post (Part 1). I spent the morning with a desperately broken couple reaching out for help and the afternoon in perfect harmony with friends. Nothing at all was wrong with playing volleyball and having good, clean fun, except that's really what young evangelicals are all about. How do I know this so well? Take a look at the morning story I just told. That meeting was shattering. My life is pristine. There's no danger or dirt in it. It's filled with fun activities and "fellowship" and "having a good time with friends". I spent last night watching YouTube videos with two dear friends who left Bloomington today for good. What was the fruit of that? Does Christ gain glory from this, that our perfect little evangelical lives are 'exciting' and 'clean' and 'prosperous'? It's a joke. My life is a tragedy if I spend it this way. So I won't condemn sunny afternoon volleyball, but I will if pea gravel is the closest peril you face.
But I haven't resolved my tension. I know I have a guilty conscience about not loving the poor and the blind, the widow and the orphan. But I still haven't resolved the fact that I'd like to get soon-to-come Jack's Mannequin album, but I'm already on a tight budget and now want to care for this couple. And I'm all or nothing. If the kingdom of God IS all that matters, then I can't spend another dime entertaining myself. Does anyone else ask these questions? I know some of you have, but you were young in faith and recognized the glory of the kingdom come. Have we lost this?
And maybe it is my guilty conscience, but where does it stop? Is there any line in our life that the King cannot cross? Should we buy generic soap instead of Dove so that we might give more? I don't want to obsess over the little things like I have in the past, but if I give up all my kingdom, what area of my life will not be claimed for Christ's? If I start, where will He stop? Do I really have to sell my stuff? I really like the cheap, scrappy 12 foot boat I got this past winter. I mean, fishing is really relaxing and it's something my dad and I share. And I can use it to minister to young men. But I don't need it. Isn't it precisely what Jesus is talking about when he tells the rich, young ruler to sell all his possessions? Okay, I'm starting to feel like the emerging church, because I'm just asking questions. But, honestly, what does it mean to seek His kingdom first?! Do you feel the tension?
For sake of privacy, I won't disclose their story, but they had been through some of the most horrible things of anyone I'd ever met. And as they opened up to me their sins and sorrows, my utter hatred and neglect of the poor and helpless became sharply clear. The man, who reminded me of myself, maybe more than anyone else I've ever met, and his wife met with an elder and a deacon for aid. Afterwards, they joined our Home Fellowship Group for lunch and they continued to be open with me and now others in the church. Hearing the tremendously tough times they've faced exposed the lie of my quaint life. It was clear that others in my small group experienced the same uncovering. Thankfully, my church and I were able to help out this couple and will continue to. Certainly, God was blessing both parties through our interaction.
Later this afternoon I joined a two friends at the park, one of which had recently graduated and was now leaving Bloomington. When I arrived, they were sitting and watching some mutual friends play volleyball. I was fresh from dropping off the couple at their home and my heart was still burdened. I shared their story with my two friends to engage them in the work God was doing in my heart in hopes that He might also work in theirs. It was a good time of fellowship and burden for the couple, and then we moved on and began to talk of our future plans. In a short while, the departing friend said goodbye and left. My remaining friend and I were asked to join the sunny Sunday afternoon volleyball game and we did. As we played, everyone was encouraging, and knew one another fairly well. Children were playing freely in the rest of the park and some tunes were provided through a player's vehicle. Sounds swell, doesn't it? School just let out, weather was fantastic, friends were fellowshipping, and it was a relaxing late afternoon. The closest thing to disturbance or danger was the pea gravel court we were playing on.
Now this is exactly the tension I'm talking about in my previous post (Part 1). I spent the morning with a desperately broken couple reaching out for help and the afternoon in perfect harmony with friends. Nothing at all was wrong with playing volleyball and having good, clean fun, except that's really what young evangelicals are all about. How do I know this so well? Take a look at the morning story I just told. That meeting was shattering. My life is pristine. There's no danger or dirt in it. It's filled with fun activities and "fellowship" and "having a good time with friends". I spent last night watching YouTube videos with two dear friends who left Bloomington today for good. What was the fruit of that? Does Christ gain glory from this, that our perfect little evangelical lives are 'exciting' and 'clean' and 'prosperous'? It's a joke. My life is a tragedy if I spend it this way. So I won't condemn sunny afternoon volleyball, but I will if pea gravel is the closest peril you face.
But I haven't resolved my tension. I know I have a guilty conscience about not loving the poor and the blind, the widow and the orphan. But I still haven't resolved the fact that I'd like to get soon-to-come Jack's Mannequin album, but I'm already on a tight budget and now want to care for this couple. And I'm all or nothing. If the kingdom of God IS all that matters, then I can't spend another dime entertaining myself. Does anyone else ask these questions? I know some of you have, but you were young in faith and recognized the glory of the kingdom come. Have we lost this?
And maybe it is my guilty conscience, but where does it stop? Is there any line in our life that the King cannot cross? Should we buy generic soap instead of Dove so that we might give more? I don't want to obsess over the little things like I have in the past, but if I give up all my kingdom, what area of my life will not be claimed for Christ's? If I start, where will He stop? Do I really have to sell my stuff? I really like the cheap, scrappy 12 foot boat I got this past winter. I mean, fishing is really relaxing and it's something my dad and I share. And I can use it to minister to young men. But I don't need it. Isn't it precisely what Jesus is talking about when he tells the rich, young ruler to sell all his possessions? Okay, I'm starting to feel like the emerging church, because I'm just asking questions. But, honestly, what does it mean to seek His kingdom first?! Do you feel the tension?
